Poems and memories

The birds are singing and I think the sun is getting ready to rise. I haven't gone to bed yet, instead I've been watching In her Shoes and getting sentimental. 

I like that film a lot and I've seen it many times. There's much to say about it but what brought on my sentimentality tonight was the poem by e. e. cummings Maggie (Cameron Diaz) is reading to Rose (Toni Collette) on Rose's wedding. It's a beautiful poem called i carry your heart, and it's the kind of poem I'd like to know, well, by heart.

The thing about romantic poetry (in English) is that it always reminds me of Jenny. She once, when I was in Australia in 2001, sent me three poems by e-mail. I had written to her and told her that I was feeling a bit lonely and sad, and so she sent me those poems. I didn't get them until a few days later because I'd been out walking in the desert, out of reach. But when I got back to civilisation (Alice Springs in fact) I got them. I printed them out and went to a café and had a turkey sandwich with cranberry sauce and read them. I was so incredibly touched by them, by the gesture.

I'm not generally sentimental, but I have a few weak spots, or what you might call them, and Jenny is such a spot. And the funny thing is that it doesn't have to be those three particular poems to remind me. None of the three poems were by e. e. cummings for example, like the poem in the film, but it doesn't matter. It's not the poem in itself, it's the poem as such that reminds me. 

My life would be considerably poorer without the poems, without Jenny. And even though we haven't seen each other for many years, my happy memories will never disappear. 

And now, I borrow my last words from another poem by cummings, maggie and milly and molly and may. The last words are:

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)

it's always ourselves we find in the sea

The Westerner

For some reason I have fallen under the spell of the wild west. Lately that has led me to watch a lot of films by John Ford, reading My Ántonia by Willa Cather, and listening to famous themes from famous western movies. I have even been reading Lucky Luke, the French-Belgian comic books. This isn't something new, I have long had this soft spot for the frontier, ever since I was a child. And not just the American west of course, but the Australian equivalent as well. One of the best books I have read on the subject of frontier life, and early settlers, takes place in Australia, and is written by an Australian: The Tree of Man by Patrick White.

While we're on the subject, today I saw an interview with senator Barack Obama, and what suddenly struck me was how much he looks like some character from the Lucky Luke albums. Should the senator be reading this, I hope he understands that I mean in affectionately.

I have been on my new job for four days now, and I haven't done much yet, but it seems to me to be most agreeable. More news will follow. Now I'm hungry and in urgent need of food.

Late Autumn Sun

I should be outside, taking a lovely walk in the lovely autumn weather. But the sun will not set yet for some time. Eventually I'll get there.

Yesterday I saw an Australian film, Jindabyne, about life in a little town among what might be called white trash. Family tensions, racism, male chauvinism, and environmental concerns where among the topics referred to. And yet it made my constant longing for that marvelous country increase, ever so slightly. When will I return?

In China, the experiment with grass root democracy that has been going on for some years, with elections on low levels in towns and communities, seems to have come to a standstill. That is a shame. Surely the best way to ease the tensions that simmers, and occasionally explodes, all over the country, is to give to people more power over their lives, and over the decision process. Since I take it for granted that the leading men and women of the Chinese Communist Party read my blog on a daily basis, I hereby take the opportunity to urge them to expand democracy in urban and rural China.

Being Disconnected

Last Friday evening suddenly I no longer had access to Internet. Today, at long last, I was finally able to get back online. I'm not saying it has been all bad. Felt kinda nice for a while. Yesterday I talked on the phone for three hours with a certain someone for example, and it was ever so nice. She had suggested we talk on the Internet, but I gave her my phone number instead, and it might have been old fashioned, but I loved every second of it.

I have decided to quit my job, or rather, they thought they gave me an offer I couldn't refuse, but I did. So as of the first of 2007 I no longer have a job. At the same time I have a new apartment. Everything changes. What'll I do? I don't know. But it feels great! I feel like I can do anything. Maybe write here every single day. There's a buck in that racket, no?

I'm supporting a project to save tigers in India, maybe I will go there and support them with more than just money. Or I will go back to University, or find a new job, or go to Australia. I might combine all three alternatives, and go and work and study in Australia.

But now I will go back to my book, The Namesake, by Jhumpa Lahiri. I've read 50 pages so far and I'm hooked.

Hugs, Dreams and a Nice Cup of Tea

Some mornings you wake up and feel that this is going to be a tiresome day. Today was such a day. I tried to do the best I could, and it went smoothly enough. But I needed a hug badly and fortunately the best hugger in town came to my rescue. It seems to me that there is always something or someone that will cheer you up, no matter where you are, or how bad things are.

Things are really heating up at work. Everything is changing, and next year everything will be different. It's time to seize the opportunity and take action. The question is of course what course of action to take. Get in deeper, or quit? It seems to me that there is always something or someone that will make things more complicated, no matter where you are, or how complicated things are.

If I may be permitted to dream a little (and I may, since I am the boss of this blog), I think that what I really would like to do more than anything else right now is move to Australia, and try to find work there. Maybe in Melbourne, or perhaps way out somewhere, on some camel farm or something.

Well, that'll have to wait, first I want my cup of tea.