The Agony of Existence

Today was a dull day, at which end I watched The Good Girl on TV, with Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal. If you are in need of cheering up, I would recommend something else. But, then again, you might feel, "Oh well, at least my life isn't as bad as all that.", and take comfort in that. It's the story of small town life and the boredom and conformity that can be your everyday existence. How you can get stuck in limbo and grow increasingly desperate.

I have also read Nietzsche today, another man experiencing the agony of existence. The poor man was practically sick from the day he was born, and up until he died. Headaches, vomiting, dizzy spells, stomach aches, sensitive eyes, drowsiness, difficulty breathing. That he could bare it for as long as he did is impressive. No wonder his philosophy is so unsentimental and harsh, even though he himself could be very sentimental.

I think maybe that it isn't really what your life is like, but how (and who) you are, that counts. One person is ill, but happy because he is alive, another is in perfect (physical) health, but miserable because he is alive. One person can live the most exciting and adventurous life, and still feel bored and ill at ease, and another person is living a life completely devoid of any kind of excitement, one day exactly like the other, and yet be happy and content, and not in want of anything more.

What kind of a person am I? Well, I need the excitement and the adventure, and I have had a fair share of it in my life. And I'm not bored or ill at ease then, but on days like these, well. The fact that I have been so stressed for almost a year, and now finally have time of, and the ability to relax, probably has something to do with my out-of-time-and-place feeling today. It takes time to settle in to the new rhythm.

On a brighter side, I've also read some short stories but P.G. Wodehouse today. It doesn't get much funnier than that. Granted, I prefer the novels to the short stories, but still. Here's a brief passage from Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest, just to give you a taste of it:

"Next morning, after I had sucked down a thoughtful cup of tea, I went into Motty's room to investigate. I expected to find the fellow a wreck, but there he was, sitting up in bed, quite shirpy, reading Gingery Stories.
'What ho!' I said.
'What ho!' said Motty.
'What ho! What ho!'
'What ho! What ho! What ho!'
After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation."

I suppose you need a certain disposition to find it funny. It works for me. Every time.